I have had a pretty unpleasant week, and have been struggling with the fatigue for a full seven days — it seems a very long haul, and there is, as yet, no end in sight. It is incredibly annoying having to pause in the middle of projects because one’s brain is not up to handling much – on Monday I found myself unable to continue working on the pattern for Warriston, so I thought I’d try a little leisurely dressmaking. But I soon found that my body wasn’t up to much, either — I had to stop when I found I couldn’t lift the iron to press the pattern pieces. I suppose I was due a bad bout given that the days prior to it were full of unprecedented and heady amounts of physical activity. On 12th May I actually managed to walk a full 10 miles, and in my Schiehallion post, I neglected to mention that I was feeling so good after getting up and down the mountain that, the same evening, I popped out for a 3 mile stroll to whet my appetite for dinner.
I was also buoyed up with anxiety and relief about my Dad (who is very well by the way, but who seems just as bad as I am at the doing-nothing part of recovery) and I imagine this also played some part in the energy relapse I have suffered this week. I also have a sense (and it is just that – a sense) that these very prolonged episodes of fatigue are somehow related to my brain figuring out how to do something a little better. In this case, I think it involves my ankle flexion, the tendons running up the left side of my calf, and my ability to point my toes while my knees are bent (an action I’ve been working on). In any case, I bloody well hope there is a payoff, as I am tired of the world going in slow motion, and feeling the ridiculous weight of the waste sad time, stretching before and after.
My time was not totally wasted, of course – I did manage to get out to an appointment on Thursday morning (though I was so knackered afterward that I spent the rest of the day in bed). Also, at no point this week did I reach the unable-to-knit stage (things get really bad, then). I have, in fact, managed to finish a project that I am very happy with (its gazillion ends have just been woven in, and it is blocking now). So at least there is something to show for this non-week. More of this project when the fatigue lifts, and I can don my loon pants, and show it to you!
I don’t really enjoy writing these tedious recovery-related posts, but feel it is important that I continue to keep track of things. I shall leave you with a photo of Bruce, who celebrates his first birthday in a few days time. What a boon he has been to me over the past year. I heartily recommend a loyal and jolly canine companion to anyone recovering from anything.
Happy Birthday, buddy.