Hello, it is I, Bruce. Today I am here to tell you about SHED. If you don’t know the meaning of SHED, I can reveal it is a strange wooden place with a distinctive smell in which humans like to spend a lot of time, particularly at this time of year.
Here there are two SHEDS and on the left you see SHED one. SHED one has many functions. On Saturday evenings, Kate and Tom can be found hanging out in here, eating snacks, drinking beer and listening to their favourite radio show. In the wintertime, SHED one is also the place in which Tom likes to cycle to nowhere on the peculiar and noisy machine known as Turbo Trainer. But on spring and summer days, the main purpose of SHED one seems to be as a space for reading and knitting. These are just two of the silent, absorbing activities that Kate seems to do an awful lot of, but which all seem pretty pointless to me.
But BOB has become quite good at distracting Kate from these pointless activities. SHED one really is an excellent place for a weary dog to sit, with its cushions and blankets and comfortable seats. . . .
. . . and with a bit of persistence, it is possible for we dogs to dislodge Kate and take over SHED one completely!
Shh! Look! Kate’s over in SHED two and has no idea that the sofa is now ours! Just don’t sit on the knitting, BOB!
Shed TWO is in some ways far less interesting than SHED one.
For example, if you are a dog, there’s no perspective from SHED two on the world outside, with its endless possibilities of passing humanfriends and sneaky marauding CAT enemies.
SHED two is, in short, no place for a vigilant and dutiful dog with important garden greeting and policing work to do!
Shed TWO is, instead, a place of human work.
And if you look at things from broader perspective: that is, if you take the long view (which I, as a philosophic dog like to do . . . )
SHED two can in fact be regarded as a very interesting place indeed! And that’s because, as I’ve discovered, SHED two is actually the place where many exciting SNACKS originate!
In SHED two, Kate’s activities are not actually pointless, because she is “potting up” and “bringing on” the tasty things which later appear out here!
These wooden objects are not SHEDS, but BEDS and they contain many interesting edible things!
Personally, I’m very partial to fresh tasty leaves of any kind
and I LOVE strawberries, both green and red . . .
but as you, dear readers, may know, my most favourite food of all is the POTATO
And potatoes appear right here!
I know the potatoes are ready after the plants have flowered and, although it would take me no time at all to do ALL the digging that’s required, it is one of life’s great mysteries that I am not allowed anywhere near the potato beds at any time of year! The same, sadly, goes for the strawberries, which Tom says are netted against my attentions, as well as those of the local DEER.
With its instructions to KEEP OFF THE POTATOES and its SHEDS full of human activities both pointless and productive, the garden is sometimes a frustrating place for we dogs to be.
Still, there is some fun to be had out here, and one can always live in hope of the occasional potato.
See you soon, Love Bruce x