lend me your ears

Hello, it’s me, Bran the puppy. Today I am here to tell you about EARS. These are the two things that flop about off the side of your head (if you are a dog) or that sit below your glasses (if you are a human). EARS are easily accessible to an intrepid, eager puppy and the best thing about EARS is that they are CHEWY!

Now, when I say say that ears are CHEWY I do not mean that they are meant for eating, or for biting either. Biting ears is very bad, and, in my book, eating ears verboten. Personally, I would never bite an ear, but I do like to show those of whom I am fond – whether human or canine – that I like them by chewing at their CHEWY ears. Human ears make pretty good CHEWIES but the best ears for chewing are those of my good friend, Skye.

Skye is a mischievous and jolly caramel-coloured cocker spaniel who is a couple of weeks older than me. Skye likes my ears and she likes playing in the garden just as much as I do! With Skye I enjoy games such as CHASE ME ROUND THE QUINCE BUSH; CAN YOU DESTROY WELLINGTON BOOT and CROUCH, BARGE AND LEAP. All of these are lots of fun, but our favourite game is, of course, YOU CHEW MY EARS AND I CHEW YOURS.

This is how it goes.

Second only to SKYE’S ears on my FANTASTIC CHEWIES list come those of this guy . . .

. . . Great Uncle Bruce

Great Uncle Bruce is OLD and SMART, yet I am surprised that despite his wisdom and venerable age, he has not yet figured out that YOU CHEW MY EARS AND I CHEW YOURS is the very best game there is. His ears are so wonderfully chewy, and, believe me, I have tried to enlighten him on this matter, but to no avail. Yet, despite his complete failure to lend me his ears, Great Uncle Bruce is always very kind and very gentle.

This middle guy is BOB

I’m told that BOB is my brother, but we are actually quite different. BOB is a a few years older than me, and his all-time favourite things are not EARS but BALLS and BANANAS. At first BOB regarded me with complete indifference, but now, as long as BALL is not around, he is quite happy to play with me. . . .

. . . and can even be persuaded to chase me about . . .

and CHEW MY EARS from time to time.

Now, as far as I’m concerned, ears are principally there for chewing, but they also have another function, on which the humans around here seem pretty keen. Apparently, ears are also things for listening. With my ears, I am now learning how to SIT . . .

. . . and when to LIE DOWN. Ears are also helpful in figuring out the extremely complicated, counter-intuitive concepts that my humans are beginning to insist on such as OFF and STAY. Kate and Tom are repeatedly telling me that listening is much more important than chewing where ears are concerned, but they are just humans and really, what do they know?

keep on chewing!

see you soon, love Bran x