Hello, it is I, BOB. You don’t often hear from me here, and there are two reasons for that. First, one philosophic dog in this household is quite enough, and second, things mean much more to me than words. That is to say: while I am not a dog-o-llectual I am certainly an intrepid master of the BOBJECT. What is the BOBJECT, you ask? Well, the BOBJECT is is an ovoid-shaped bright orange thing which Kate acquired a long time ago because it appeared to be difficult to chew up or destroy. And I am happy to confirm that, despite my very best efforts, the BOBJECT has so far proved to be completely indestructible.
I am glad the BOBJECT is indestructible, as I love it dearly and do not like to be without it. There are many types of day that I enjoy – for example, those involving SWIMMING or BANANAS are always good – but my favourite kind of day is definitely one which I and the BOBJECT are able to spend happily together in the garden, lounging and snoozing and waiting for an obliging human to appear.
When such a human does appear – be that Tom, Kate, or neighbours Eric or Mairi – I dutifully present them with the BOBJECT, and wait for an important transformation to take place . . .
For at this point my quiet, stationary, land-bound BOBJECT becomes an exciting, unpredictable, flying BOBJECT!
Or, if you will, a UFB!
The BOBJECT flies through the air . . . .
. . . I pursue the BOBJECT . . .
. . . I skilfully catch and retrieve the BOBJECT . . .
. . . . I return the BOBJECT to the obliging human . . .
. . . and the game begins again.
Look at me go, leaping and catching the elusive BOBJECT!
Though the humans always marvel at my remarkable BOBJECT catching abilities, they sadly have no staying power, and tire of the game far more quickly than I.
Ah well. Another day, another UFB.