
Dealing with recurrent depression is a Sisyphean process: you push your boulder up the hill, knowing at some point it is going to roll right back down, and require pushing up again.

It’s fair to say that Sisyphus’ boulder has been rolling around all over the place around here for the past few weeks: I think I’m starting to feel better, but then things hurtle on down to rock bottom.

One good thing is that, having dealt with these depressive phases since my teenage years, the process is quite familiar. Another good thing is that, however exhausting, however relentless, my lows can be, I do have useful strategies to deal with them.

I generally know if a bad day is upon me (immediately when waking up), and I can then use my morning walk to my advantage. Walking outside for an hour or two, I have various psychological techniques that I practice, and which work well to turn disordered and negative thoughts around.

The act of walking itself is critical to this process.

The dogs are helpful too.

And a fresh, bright day and beautiful surroundings are certainly an added bonus.

I can’t use this process to walk and think my way completely out of a crashing low, but its daily re-iteration certainly helps make things more bearable.

Getting good, regular sleep is crucial. Reading or writing (about a topic unrelated to how I’m feeling) and knitting (of course) can be helpful too.

Depression is very boring (as well as quite relentless) and the fact that I am writing this at all is a sign that things are definitely starting to improve. This is good, but it can be a difficult moment too.

. . . because instead of feeling horribly desperate or doom-laden, I now often wake up feeling half-way ok. This is both heartening and exciting: I then get a bit lost in the welcome sensation of feeling just a little better, and become overwhelmed by a terrible impatience to just be WELL . . .

. . . which in its turn can make any ensuing “bad” days a bit more difficult to deal with.

Sisyphus’ boulder just keeps on rolling . . .

At some point in its inevitable rise and fall . . .

. . . I’ll find an equilibrium.

With thanks and love to Tom for supporting me through this depressive phase, as well as the many others which have preceded it.
Thank you
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Dear Ms. Davies,
I was so touched by your courageous post and wish you peace and tranquility as you recover from this bout of depression. I cannot say that I have personal experience of what you have been through, but I am a physician (a pediatrician, so again in no way an expert) and so I am used to witnessing people’s pain and respecting that theirs is at heart a solitary journey (as is all of ours), even when surrounded by loving family, friends, and caregivers who are there with outstretched hands. It is the greatest privilege of my life to be privy to those most intimate moments that link us one to another, brother to brother and sister to sister.
When I read of Bruce’s death, and then your announcement soon afterward that you were coping with an illness, the thought did enter my mind that perhaps you were feeling low, only because as the “parent” of two goldens, I cannot bring myself to contemplate the inevitable pain I must someday face in saying goodbye to them. I was so impressed by the sheer bravery of your post, the photos of your jaunty walk on the beach, the stamina of you as Sisyphus pushing your boulder, but also the sense of grace and patience that the images conveyed as you calmly watch the successive waves breaking upon the shore. I thought too of your Tom behind the camera, capturing you in time and place. I am sure you have touched so many of your readers, and that your post will be so incredibly helpful to others in similar circumstances.
I discovered your website during the Pandemic, as I discovered so many online knitting resources as I picked up my needles after many years’ hiatus. Like so many others, I knew I needed something to cope with all the stresses and horrors of the Pandemic. Here in the US, we experienced our own special brand of hell in the form of the Trump administration, added to the international concerns over global warming and the war in Ukraine. What an amazing ordeal this has been, and we have all been changed so fundamentally. But — I feel almost guilty to admit — there have been moments of gladness too. I am so thankful for my husband and daughter, for gardening, walks with the dogs, baking and cooking together. And I have been amazed by the community of knitters who have displayed such sensitivity and generosity during crisis, posting magnificent blogs such as your own, tutorials, and amazing podcasts. I have learned so much and my knitting is so vastly improved! Having never heard of Elizabeth Zimmermann or Meg Swanson, for example, I have now read three of their books and my favorite mug is inscribed with Elizabeth’s famous quote, “Knit on with confidence and hope through all crises.” I am a totally anonymous person, yet because of your and others kindliness, I feel linked by the thread on my needles to others of similar sensibility now, through the past, and into the future. What a gift that has been.
Thank you so very much for contributing to that fellowship, Ms. Davies. Thank you so very much. We have all had to help each other. Everyone of us is noble in our shared vulnerability, and gentleness and compassion gives us each tremendous strength, even the ability to reach the top of mountains.
With best wishes to you and your family,
Patricia Severson Sherborn, MA
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Thank you so much, Patricia, for your kind note. I was reading something the other day which really reminded me how terrible those Trump years were – with every day another statement, action or event to react to with horrified consternation. I too take heart from the community of knitters, from Elizabeth and Meg, and from other women of courage and creativity. We all keep on keeping on, together. Give your dogs a hug from me. x
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Thank you for your courage & honesty in sharing what you are going through, Kate. Your description & the accompanying images so aptly portray the pervasive nature of depression. I can identify with it well.
Gardening for me is therapy. It provides respite from the heavy thoughts in my head, & digging the soil is good for my soul. Walking, knitting, reading & physical work have also helped me over the years. I have recently read your ‘Handywoman’ & ‘Bluestockings’ both from which I have drawn great strength & both have helped me dig my heels in deeper & rally my inner strength.
I am glad you are starting to rise above this latest episode; it is a process though that takes time. Be kind to yourself, don’t judge yourself for it, & keep doing the things that help you inch towards happier times ahead. I wish you all the very best, Kate.
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Hi Kate – you might enjoy the little KDD circular web tour I did this morning. I read this beautiful and vulnerable post and realised that too much of my writing is about the things that are at the root of my depressive episodes. I thought about what you’d said here about writing on things that are *not* related to your depression and remembered that I needed to find a favourite painting for a discussion group tonight. That led me to Sonia Delaunay’s Bal Bullier and I felt so uplifted looking at it that I went down a few more Delaunay rabbit holes and ended up at – your 2015 posts about her! It was a great example of how so much of what you create is extremely helpful for those of us who also have long experience of navigating mental distress. A fortnight ago, I finished Balmaha and have been wearing it almost nonstop ever since – such a tonic, such a gift. Thank you x
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Hi Jo,
I really think that one of the worst things about depression (well, about my depression) is its tendency to rummage around, looking for causes, and things to fix. My depression likes to latch itself onto all kinds of different things: often thinking that resolving them will resolve IT – but more often than not (for me), focusing on all the different causes of depression (there are a lot of these!) just increases ruminative tendencies, which don’t help at all. I think this is why walking is so good for me: I’m always attending to different things outside, things that are nothing to do with me, and which I never have to try to fix or resolve. I am so glad you enjoy Delaunay. I often return to her work, and I always find something new there. Lots of love to you, and hope your discussion group enjoys the painting!. Kate x
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Thank you for sharing this, Kate. It takes courage to share the less ideal parts of life, especially when we live in a world that is often hyper-focused on sharing only the highlights. I have heard several times lately, “It is okay to not be okay.” We all need permission to embrace that. Wishing you relief and comfort.
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Such an incredibly beautiful and honest post, in every way… thinking of all of you and sending much love, Susan
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Thanks for sharing this, Kate, and for the brilliant photo illustrations from Tom. While I’m fortunate to not suffer from episodes like this, I do get hit with malaise shortly after I’ve finished major projects. Not sweater-level projects, but definitely for projects as big as your “Allover” book/club-level work. We appreciate your willingness to share your efforts to give your body and mind rest and peace.
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Georgeous ❤️
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I add my voice to those who have thanked you for your courage and eloquence in sharing this with us now and over the years. I have escaped depression myself (so far, at least), but I have loved ones who face the challenge. It helps immensely to have you, someone I trust and have “known” a long time, explain your personal experience with it.
Kudos to you and Tom, too, for those exceptionally apt photos! I will forever picture depression as having to trudge through the day with a scratchy rope over one’s shoulder and a great, ridiculous, heavy plastic globe attached to the other end. So many interesting convolutions in that particular metaphor. . .
Take care, be well, and let those dogs remind you what joy is every day!
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Oui Kate ….MARCHER…. MARCHER
L’énergie du sol à chaque pas remonte en nous
Nous respirons un peu plus à chaque pas
On revient différente
Je viens de recevoir le modèle SMOOKIE…..je traduis…et je commence de suite en pensant à vous et tous les beaux articles et magnifiques photos que vous nous faites partagées
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Glad to hear that your feeling better. This sounds so familiar to m e as I’ve struggled with depression for many years, and have found that time, exercise, fresh air and my knitting help a lot. Recently I’ve found loosing myself in a film or a book also helps, but what does not help was the medical advise I had which was to read about depression. When I am feeling depressed i don’t want to read about it and when I come out the other side I don’t want to be reminded of it – it may work for some people but not for me. Now spring is coming my mood will left, I can see things growing and my garden is starting to fill with birds, so I will feel better and enjoy the time outside in the warmer days.
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Thank you for being brave enough to share how you are feeling. I am sorry that you have to go through this but am sure that your post will help others. Please have a virtual hug!
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Glad to hear you are starting to feel better. These are great tips. Thank you!
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I hope you draw strength and encouragement from your own sharing – it no doubt offers an enormous boost to others facing similar challenges. And as you say – the fact that you are saying it out loud today points to the improvement you are experiencing – may your experiences continue to be improving on the ongoing loop of life. Beach walks and dogs and loving partners are the best, for sure!
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Good to have you back Kate, even if it is only half back.
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Dear Kate, I hear a similar course of events from my Mother who was in her early twenties when she started getting depressive episodes, she is now in her eighties. I my self have had bouts of depression and for me I walk, long walks with my Border Terrier. I am sure there is something about the rhythm walking, as well as being outside in nature. Knitting, knitting ,knitting as well, again rhythm of clicking needles. My Mum has recently started knitting again and I think it has helped her lots. The not so good days will get less. Thank you for sharing. Merinda x
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your candor is so refreshing, and helpful.
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Hi Kate, everyone has their story and journey. Thanks for your honesty and sharing yours. As someone with a chronic condition and disability, there are often ups and downs. Part of what keeps me going is my beautiful dog and the ability to be meditative through knitting, thanks to you. Sending positive thoughts x
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Kate you are marvelous, you do so much to make my life better with all your glorious ideas and sharing them so generously with the world even here in Australia with me. Thankyou 😍
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Walking is magic. All the very best.
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Oh Kate, EMPATHY! By the bucket-load. I’ve always looked forward to getting February done and dusted, because March can be so much brighter and more hopeful. Mind you, thirty years of (self-diagnosed) SAD (& a few Enforced stays at our local Institution) have left me with Techniques, Processes, and a lightbox I’m almost ready to throw out of the ever-brightening window by this time of year!
As you write, it does pass. As does the recovery time. Hang in there, and thanks for your honesty.
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Thank you Kate for your courage and honesty in dealing with a subject which is taboo in so many circles.
May your wonderful husband, dogs and the love and support from your loyal and caring readers uplift you and others suffering equally.
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Thank you for sharing here. I remember when I was going through another bout of depression (and after I had found tools that helped me deal with these bouts) saying to a friend, that I knew I would get through it but I just wished it didn’t take so long! Glad things are improving for you once again, and I understand your impatience to have more of the good days.
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Kate, Sending you a lot of love and bouquets of healing positive thoughts. You are a strong and brave woman. Thank you for being so very open. You’re on track with walking and knitting. daily. Your inner strength and attitude are the best. Tom is your guardian angel. I too have a very sick husband who has not been able to live at home in over 6 years. He has too many diseases for one person. People ask me how I manage and see me as amazing. I always advocate for him. And my attitude has always been that I’m going to live too. Unfortunately I am no longer able to take him anyplace in my car because his body has become so rigid and stiff. Poor man was brilliant before illness stole everything away from him. Kate, if there is something that I can do to help you on your journey, please be in touch with me. I live in Rhode Island, USA. Sending you love 💕🧶💕🧶💕🧶💕
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Deep peace to you, Kate🙏
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A long daily (as possible) walk, with the dog, is an interval, a sort of space you create for yourself, a little workspace. Much love to you for sharing your struggle, as I know it helps others! ❤️
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Like so many others who have commented, my greatest friends are nature and my dog. I lost my husband a year ago and thought that my life was over. Through the encouragement of good friends and long early morning walks with Tucker, I have gradually started to feel like my normal self (what ever that is!). I also practice Tai Chi Chih every day – a way to get focused on the positive. It’s calming and helps clear the mind. Your courage is sharing your feelings with all of us helps us all realize that we aren’t alone with this affliction. Thank you, Kate.
–Maja–
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thank you for sharing your feelings, experience and strategies, so familiar sounding and also helpful. My surroundings are not quite as beautiful, but even so, early morning walks with the dog are at minimum life enhancing and, in those periods, life saving. Sending love xxx
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Vitamin D 50,000 units weekly made all the difference for me – several years now.
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My problem in Feb is apparently caused by trying to adjust to the rapid change in the day length. As you’re much further north then I am (Oxford) the rate of change will be even faster for you. Maybe you have a similar problem if it’s at this time of year that it’s worse?
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Thank you! When I feel a little better, I’ll write a little more!
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I suffer terribly at this time of year. It seems to have progressed as I’ve gotten older. Getting outside, in the light is essential for me. I take my dogs out and the combination of sea air and biting wind invigorates and lifts the weight from my head a little. I’m sure it’s the lack of Vit D and sunshine that exacerbates… Spring is around the corner. Not a moment too soon. X
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Thank you, Kate, for sharing so honestly about your depression. What a blessing Tom is. Wishing you continued strength and healing.
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Sending hugs 🤗
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You are inspiring. I hope at the very least the sunny days outside continue for you and all your companions.
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Kate, your perspective is so valuable and your images and analogies ring true. Thank you for sharing today and every day that you choose. I love reading your writing as well as knitting you designs
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thank you – for bravely sharing and thus leading by example, for validating what others feel but can’t always verbalize, for the wonderful photos that illustrated and uplifted
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I love they Sisyphus analogy. I too, suffer from depression, AND I am a stroke survivor. I remember that Abraham Lincoln suffered from ‘meloncholia’ and said the best thing to relieve symptoms was activity….he dealt with a lot of unbelievable situations. There’s no cure. Keep on keeping on.
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Thank you, dear Kate, for your continuing generosity.
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Adding my support for you, Kate, as you work your way through this period and am again reminded of and appreciative of your candor in sharing your very personal health struggles, as well as the strategies that work for you.
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Thanks for sharing, Kate. Depression is boring, I completely agree. I hate having to deal with it *again.* but sometimes I manage to remember that it’s only for a while, and the bad days mean there are good days coming. It’s amazing what moving the body can do. I envy you that daily practice of making yourself so it!
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Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps the fellow sufferers of depression not feel so isolated
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Dear Kate,
Thank you. I have grown some very strong physical and mental muscle pushing that ************ boulder up the slope……sometimes a Munro to bag and sometimes an Everest to barely conquer. Your text speaks to me but more so your pictures help me see a fellow traveller full of persistence and grit and with a learned determination and a heart of shining, unbreakable glass.
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Brave and honest and inspiring …. Thank you xxx
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And depression sits in the shadow. I must make effort to face it. The hardest for me is just that. To walk. I have cats and my husband knows what I mean when I tell him I am going to walk the dog.
Sending love and light.
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I am forever thankful for your honest and quite beautiful expression of your challenges. There is so much damn stigma about depression and you are on the forefront of de-stigmatizing it. Carry on!
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Kate, your writing this morning has helped me. My husband is terribly ill and like you I live in some isolation amid beautiful countryside. Today we are alone and for whatever reason, the little push, I have been feeling depressed. Reading and understanding what you have said, lifts me, gives me the energy to get through this day. There will be a tomorrow. Thank you and I wish you well through the difficult times. Brenda
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I’m so glad you’re starting to feel better and sorry that you go through this at all.
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Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope this will help others dealing with a similar situation. Take care.
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💕💕thank you for sharing💕💕
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I’m sorry you are dealing with this but am glad you have support from your family. We will be here whenever you are ready to get back to sharing and creating—on your own timeline! :)
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WALKING…… you have the right of it. excellent choice.
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Oh bless you Kate, I am familiar with your struggles as my hubby lives with depression. However, you are not like the cheating Sisyphus so do not deserve to push that boulder up any hills! Sending you big hugs and much love, Susie xxx
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Witnessing kindly what you so searchingly express here , Kate. I see you. I honour your perspective and your sheer perseverence! Love to you and to Tom, and may buoyancy prevail.
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